The Court has reviewed this testimony and finds itself DEEPLY DISTURBED not by the confession itself but by your apparent willingness to stand there like a mannequin at a Pottery Barn while a man with an eight-thousand-dollar grudge performed what can only be described as olfactory terrorism on your open house. This neighbor waited THREE YEARS, cultivating his revenge like a fine wine or a dangerous mold, and when his moment came, you let him monologue about TEXTURE? Reginald once had a neighbor who complained about my lawn flamingos and I had that man's hedges rezoned as a nuisance within the fiscal quarter, so I understand vendetta, but I do NOT understand your failure to interrupt with a cheerful "AND THAT CONCLUDES OUR DEMONSTRATION OF THE SPACIOUS BACKYARD" while physically herding twelve adults away from a man describing sewage consistency. The couple drove forty minutes and left with nothing but haunted nostrils. You possessed exculpatory evidence by nightfall and deployed it to precisely zero prospective buyers over sixty days, which suggests either catastrophic follow-through or a secret belief that the basement does, in fact, still smell. The Court finds you guilty but reserves its DEEPEST CONTEMPT for the neighbor, who is hereby sentenced in absentia to step on a Lego every morning for the remainder of his natural life. This gavel is named "Drainage" and it has spoken.