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CONFESSION #0466 — SOCIAL MEDIA BACKFIRE
Tuesday, April 21, 2026
The photos looked great. That was the whole point. Spent like three hours staging this place on Maple, got the light right, everything crisp. Posted the listing on our company page, boosted it, all the normal stuff.
Then someone in the comments goes "isn't this the house where that guy died" and I'm thinking, what? No. Nobody died there. The sellers never disclosed anything, I checked the records, nothing. But this comment gets 40 likes in two hours.
Turns out there was a house fire on the same street back in 2019. Different house. Two doors down. But now everyone thinks it's the same one and I've got people sharing the post saying "they're trying to sell the death house" and my broker calls me on a Sunday asking what's going on.
I replied to the comment with the actual address of the fire, which — yeah, that was stupid, because then that homeowner called the office Monday morning absolutely furious that I "outed their property" even though it was public record and they weren't even selling.
Pulled the whole listing, reposted it Tuesday without the boost. Got maybe 200 views instead of 12 thousand. Sellers want to know why the open house only had four people.
I can't explain to them that their house went viral for being a place where nobody died. There's no version of that conversation that makes sense. They keep asking about "the Facebook thing" and I just
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF CATASTROPHIC TRUTH DEPLOYMENT IN THE SECOND DEGREE AND RECKLESS CLARIFICATION WITHOUT A LICENSE
The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the sheer incompetence on display. You had a perfectly good listing, you had your light right, you had your crisp photos, and then you committed the cardinal sin of real estate social media — you ENGAGED WITH THE COMMENTS. Reginald once made this same mistake when someone questioned whether my judicial robes were from Party City and I responded with a detailed receipt from a VERY LEGITIMATE legal supply company and somehow that made everything worse. You see the parallel here. But THEN, in what can only be described as a masterclass in making bad situations apocalyptic, you publicly identified an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT HOUSE as the actual death house, like some kind of morbid game show host revealing what was behind door number two. The neighbor had every right to be furious because YOU BASICALLY DREW A MAP TO THEIR TRAUMA. And now your sellers are haunting YOU, asking about the Facebook thing while you stand there holding the charred remains of your boost budget. The Court finds it particularly offensive that nobody even died in EITHER house during this transaction and yet you have somehow created more residential carnage than the original fire. This Court hereby sentences you to explain internet virality to a sixty-seven-year-old couple using only hand gestures, effective immediately.
VIRAL NECROMANCY BACKFIRE
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
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