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CONFESSION #0473 — COMMISSION CATASTROPHE
Thursday, April 23, 2026
The second showing was supposed to be quick. Buyers loved the house, just needed their parents to see it before writing an offer. Parents fly in from Ohio, we're doing the walkthrough, everything's great. Then the listing agent shows up unannounced with her own buyers. Same time slot. She double-booked and didn't tell anyone.
Her buyers start opening cabinets while my buyers are still in the kitchen. The dad from Ohio asks me, loudly, if this is how California works. The listing agent's buyers leave offended. My buyers leave offended. Both parties pull out. House sits another six weeks, seller drops price by 40 grand.
The listing agent called me that night to say I should have been more accommodating. My commission would have been twelve thousand dollars.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF AGGRAVATED SHOWING COLLISION IN THE FIRST DEGREE WITH RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR OHIOAN DIGNITY
The Court has witnessed many travesties in its years on this bench, but the sheer AUDACITY of a listing agent double-booking a showing and then having the UNMITIGATED GALL to suggest YOU should have been more accommodating has caused Reginald to briefly black out from judicial rage. This is not how California works, Ohio Dad, but it IS how chaos agents in sensible flats destroy perfectly good transactions. The listing agent committed what we in the legal profession call Showing Sovereignty Violation, as established in the landmark case of Get Out Of My Open House v. No Seriously Leave, 2019. I myself once had a showing interrupted by a man who claimed to be measuring for blinds but was clearly just there to judge my staging choices, and I will NEVER recover from that psychological wound. The Court notes that your twelve thousand dollar commission evaporated because someone confused a showing schedule with a suggestion box, and that the seller lost forty thousand dollars because professionalism apparently left the building along with everyone else. THIS COURT FINDS that the listing agent owes you one formal apology, seventeen dollars for your emotional distress, and a handwritten letter to the Ohio parents explaining that no, this is not normal, and we are all very embarrassed. Case dismissed, Reginald must go lie down.
Ohioan Dignity Violation
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
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