The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the state of modern real estate discourse. You, a licensed professional with access to actual closed sales data, were forced to defend your pricing against a number generated by a computer that has never once walked through a house, smelled a suspicious basement, or noticed that the "open concept" was achieved by someone's uncle with a reciprocating saw. The Court must pause here to note that Reginald himself once lost a bidding war to a buyer who cited a Zestimate, and that buyer now lives in a home with POPCORN CEILINGS and SEEMS HAPPY ABOUT IT, which haunts me nightly. You showed your sellers comparable sales — ACTUAL TRANSACTIONS INVOLVING ACTUAL MONEY — and they asked if Zillow had access to DIFFERENT DATA, as though the algorithm subscribes to some premium reality the rest of us cannot perceive. The man in the kitchen showing you the Zestimate on his phone like he discovered fire is not a buyer, he is a symptom of a civilization in collapse. You are guilty, yes, but only of practicing real estate in an era where a website's guess carries more weight than your professional judgment, and for that, The Court sentences you to absolutely nothing because what would be the point.