The Court has reviewed this confession and must pause to collect itself because THIS IS EXACTLY WHY REGINALD STILL OWNS A FAX MACHINE. You sat there for FORTY MINUTES while a title company's IT line played a RECORDING? A RECORDING? In the landmark case of Actually Having Your Act Together v. This Nonsense, 2019, the court established that any closing platform that cannot survive past page 8 of 12 is legally indistinguishable from a haunted Etch A Sketch. And you, Agent, you watched this unfold on your TABLET like some kind of digital bystander while a Phoenix dream died in real time because someone pushed a software update during BUSINESS HOURS. The title officer said "this has never happened before" EIGHT TIMES which The Court recognizes as the universal incantation for "this happens constantly and I have no power here." I once lost a Crate and Barrel sectional because a notary's laptop needed to restart and install 47 updates, so I understand the buyer's pain more than Reginald cares to admit publicly. One point two million dollars in Phoenix, GONE, scattered to the digital winds while you all stared at a white screen like it might develop a personality. The Court finds that everyone in this transaction was failed by the false god of convenience, and The Court must now adjourn because Order the Roomba has gotten stuck under the credenza again.