The Court has witnessed many things in its years on this bench, but NEVER has Reginald beheld such a flagrant attempt to swap real property for dining room accessories. This seller attempted what legal scholars call "The Old Switcheroo" — a maneuver so brazen it was explicitly outlawed in Ethan Allen v. The Concept of Object Permanence, 2019. Three hours before closing, with buyers already assembled like hostages at a title company, this woman had the AUDACITY to propose that a twelve-thousand-dollar Italian table could somehow replace a HOUSE, as if square footage and marinara seasoning are interchangeable units of value. The Court must pause here to note that Reginald himself once became unreasonably attached to a breakfast nook, so there is SOME understanding of doorframe grief, but that is IRRELEVANT and the bailiff will strike it from the record. You, the agent, were forced to utter the phrase "she wants to sell them a table instead of a house" to a COLLEAGUE, which constitutes professional humiliation of the highest order. The crying was expected — the touching of doorframes was THEATRICAL — and the four-hour delay was simply the universe punishing everyone present for this woman's inability to distinguish between furniture and SHELTER. The Court finds the confession valid, the agent absolved, and Reginald must now go lie down because this ruling has given him a migraine shaped like a dining table.