The Court has witnessed many acts of seller hubris in its distinguished career, but THIS — this is what happens when the algorithm meets the audacity, and the audacity LOSES. Your client posted a TikTok announcing their negotiating strategy to TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND STRANGERS and then had the UNMITIGATED GALL to wonder why buyers showed up with lowball offers and SCREENSHOTS. This is not marketing, this is confession by dance trend! The Court once dated someone who posted our restaurant receipts on Instagram stories and I will tell you the same thing I told them through the bathroom door at Applebee's: SOME THINGS ARE NOT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION, BRENDA. And YOU — you let your phone die "on purpose" like a coward fleeing the jurisdiction while your seller REPOSTED THE EVIDENCE claiming "haters made me do this." The haters did not MAKE your seller do anything except collect twelve thousand fewer dollars! Per the landmark decision in TikTok v. Basic Professionalism, 2023, the Court finds that you are guilty not of causing this disaster but of being present for it without a working defibrillator for your client's common sense. The Roomba is circling in what I can only describe as disappointed figure-eights. Reginald needs a moment.