The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself experiencing what can only be described as judicial heartburn. You took two twenty-six-year-olds, strapped them to a rocket labeled "WAIVE EVERYTHING," and aimed it directly at a house they were already overpaying for by EIGHTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS against an offer that had the audacity to include CONTINGENCIES like some kind of reasonable human transaction. The Court must pause here because this reminds Reginald of the time he bought a limited edition gavel at auction and only later discovered it was just a regular gavel someone had written "limited" on with a Sharpie, and the SHAME of that overpayment haunts me to this day, though at least I did not lose twenty-five thousand dollars of a young couple's money when the FEDERAL RESERVE decided to remind everyone that interest rates are, in fact, a thing that exists. You guided them higher when the listing agent whispered sweet nothings about multiple offers, you stripped away their inspection contingency like it was an optional garnish, and now two people who should be arguing about IKEA furniture assembly are instead learning what "deposit forfeiture" means in their mid-twenties. This Court hereby orders you to sit with this one, counselor, because the market giveth and the Fed taketh away, but YOU are the one who told them to run. Reginald must now adjourn to stare at a wall for eleven minutes.