The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the sequence of events described herein. You walked that property SIX TIMES and heard nothing, which means either those chickens are running a sophisticated silence operation or you have the situational awareness of a decorative throw pillow. But let us be clear about the REAL crime here: you paid for someone else's appraisal out of pocket because they were crying. CRYING. Reginald once cried for eleven minutes after losing a bidding war on a vintage gavel and nobody paid for ANYTHING on his behalf. The buyer objects to the CONCEPT of chickens, the philosophical EXISTENCE of nearby fowl, and somehow YOU are the one defending calm poultry to strangers while your commission dissolves like an Alka-Seltzer tablet in the toilet of broken dreams. This Court cites the landmark decision in Henderson v. One Suspiciously Quiet Rooster, 2019, which established that an agent cannot be held liable for livestock they did not hear, smell, or witness performing any chicken-related activities. However, you ARE guilty of terminal niceness, a condition that has cost you approximately fourteen thousand dollars plus eight hundred dollars plus whatever dignity remained after you described these birds as seeming calm. The Court awards you nothing, demands the chickens be called as witnesses in the earnest money dispute, and announces that Reginald must now leave because this ruling has given him a migraine and he needs to go yell at his Roomba.