Let the record show that this Court has seen many things in its years upon the bench, but NEVER has Reginald witnessed such blatant aquatic treachery perpetrated against a child who was simply trying to enjoy a walkthrough like a normal six-year-old. The seller claims ignorance of an ACTIVE WATER FEATURE in her own basement, and The Court would sooner believe that my Roomba bailiff Order has developed romantic feelings for the kitchen island than accept this transparent fiction. You do not simply NOT NOTICE water emerging from your foundation walls unless you have been living exclusively in the upstairs portion of your home like some kind of vertical hermit, and even THEN the humidity alone would have alerted anyone with functioning sinuses. This child, this HERO of due diligence, accomplished in thirty seconds what two licensed adults and a home inspector failed to achieve, and frankly she should be awarded the commission. I myself once discovered a slow drip behind my bathroom vanity and I wept for THREE DAYS because I understood what it MEANT, which is that the universe is actively conspiring against homeownership and granite countertops specifically. The Court finds all adult parties complicit in what can only be described as foundation-based GASLIGHTING, and rules that the six-year-old shall henceforth be consulted on all future transactions within a fifty-mile radius. This Court is adjourned because Reginald needs to go check his own basement immediately.