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CONFESSION #0533 — SELLER MELTDOWN
Saturday, May 16, 2026
The other agent emailed at 9pm. Not to me, to her client, but she CC'd me which was her mistake because now I have it in writing that she told the buyer the sellers were "desperate and would take anything" which they weren't, they had equity, they had time, they just wanted to be done because the husband got a job in Phoenix starting in three weeks. So I show my sellers the email thinking okay now we have leverage, now we can push back on this lowball nonsense, and the wife just starts sobbing. Not about the money (the offer was 40k under asking which honestly wasn't crazy for the market) but because the other agent used the word desperate. She keeps saying "we're not desperate, we're not desperate people" and the husband is trying to calm her down but also he's checking his phone because Phoenix is calling him about onboarding paperwork and she sees him do that and now she's crying harder. They ended up rejecting the offer, got another one eight days later for 15k less than the first one, took it. I still have the email saved, I don't know why.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF EMOTIONAL SHRAPNEL DISTRIBUTION AND RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT OF A PHOENIX-BOUND MARRIAGE
The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself DEEPLY DISTURBED, not by your actions per se, but by the cosmic tragedy of watching fifteen thousand dollars evaporate because another agent couldn't resist typing the word "desperate" like some kind of vocabulary terrorist. You showed them the email, and yes, technically that was the right move, transparency and all that, but did you not SEE the husband checking his Phoenix onboarding paperwork while his wife wept about their dignity? DID YOU NOT SENSE THE MARITAL FAULT LINES CRACKING IN REAL TIME? Reginald once watched his own parents argue for six hours over whether to accept an offer on their split-level in 1987, and his mother used the phrase "you never fight for anything" and his father slept in the Buick for two nights, so The Court UNDERSTANDS the stakes here. You saved that email because guilt is a filing cabinet that never gets cleaned out, and somewhere in Phoenix right now that husband is explaining to his new coworkers why they ended up in a slightly smaller house and his wife is pretending the answer is "the market" when the answer is actually "a CC line and bad timing." The other agent committed the crime, but you delivered the verdict to people who weren't ready to hear it, and that makes you an accessory to heartbreak. The Court sentences you to delete that email immediately and then lie awake tonight anyway because you won't.
SCANDAL RATING: 6.8/10 Forwarded Devastation

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