Advertisement
CONFESSION #0563 — WRONG ADDRESS
Tuesday, May 26, 2026
The commission check was short. Took me three days to figure out why.
Monday: closing goes fine. Buyers sign everything. Keys handed over.
Tuesday: buyers call. Say the neighbors seem confused.
Wednesday: visit the property. Buyers are at 412. They bought 414.
Thursday: pull the original listing. Photos are 414. Description is 414. MLS number is 412.
Friday: call the listing agent. She says oh yeah, she noticed that but figured someone fixed it.
Saturday: both properties have the same owner. Had. Past tense now.
Sunday: owner calls me directly. Asks why strangers are in his rental.
Monday: title company says the legal description was correct. Just not the photos. Or the address. Or the lockbox location.
The buyers lived there for six days before anyone figured it out. Six days in the wrong house. They liked it better actually. Said the layout made more sense.
We had to unwind the whole thing and start over. Twelve thousand in fees. Nobody knows who pays yet.
Advertisement
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF CATASTROPHIC ADDRESS IDENTITY FRAUD AND UNLAWFUL RESIDENTIAL MUSICAL CHAIRS
The Court has reviewed this confession with the same horror one reserves for discovering the bathroom is actually a closet during a final walkthrough. You sold people a HOUSE and they ended up in a DIFFERENT HOUSE and your defense is that the LEGAL DESCRIPTION WAS TECHNICALLY CORRECT? Reginald once dated a woman who said she was technically single and that ended with a restraining order and a very awkward Thanksgiving, so forgive The Court for not finding comfort in technicalities. Six days these people lived in someone else's rental property like some kind of accidental Goldilocks scenario, eating someone else's leftover pasta probably, and the listing agent NOTICED THE DISCREPANCY and just assumed the Problem Fairy would handle it? This is not how property transfers work, THIS IS HOW SITCOM PILOTS WORK. The fact that the buyers preferred the wrong house is not exculpatory, it is EVIDENCE OF HOW BROKEN THIS ENTIRE TRANSACTION WAS FROM INCEPTION. Twelve thousand dollars in fees floating in jurisdictional purgatory while two addresses sit there wondering which one of them is even real anymore, and The Court must now go lie down because Order the Roomba is making concerned beeping sounds.
HOUSE ROULETTE
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
Advertisement