The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the phrase "boys will be boys," a statement which has historically been used to excuse everything from minor mischief to what we see here: THE PREMEDITATED ASSAULT OF CUSTOM MILLWORK BY A CHILD WHO APPARENTLY BELIEVES HE IS TRAINING FOR SOME KIND OF INDOOR SHOT PUT COMPETITION. Let Reginald be clear, when a decorative concrete sphere travels through drywall and OBLITERATES twelve thousand dollars worth of built-in shelving, we are no longer in "boys will be boys" territory, we are in "boys will be defendants" territory, and their parents will be CO-CONSPIRATORS. The audacity, the SHEER UNMITIGATED AUDACITY of then arguing the sellers should pay because the house "wasn't secured for children" suggests these buyers believe homes should come standard with padded walls and tranquilizer dart systems, and frankly The Court is now questioning whether YOUR bathroom retreat was strategic cowardice or the only thing standing between you and a complete psychological break. I once watched a Labrador knock a For Sale sign into a koi pond and felt more faith in that animal's judgment than I do in these parents, and I remind you that Labrador was later disbarred from my courtyard for unrelated reasons. The Court rules that you are guilty only of insufficient screaming, and that the buyers owe not just nine thousand dollars but a FORMAL WRITTEN APOLOGY to the concept of interior craftsmanship itself. Reginald must now go lie down.