The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the sheer preventable tragedy on display. You stood there, sending inspection reminders into the void like a man mailing love letters to a house that had already moved on, while Zillow — ZILLOW — played puppet master with your commission. This Court once attempted to subpoena a Zestimate as a hostile witness in the matter of In re: That One Open House, 2023, and the algorithm PLEADED THE FIFTH, which tells you everything you need to know about its character. The wife checked Zillow every single day, and you did NOTHING to intervene, which is the digital equivalent of letting someone take medical advice from a fortune cookie. Twenty-five thousand dollars in value materialized THREE DAYS after the deal died, which means somewhere in Silicon Valley a server laughed at you specifically. The listing agent's eight-second laugh was honestly generous — Reginald would have gone for a full twelve. This Court hereby orders you to print out that updated Zestimate, frame it, and hang it in your office as a WARNING to future clients who think the internet knows more than a licensed professional with access to ACTUAL COMPARABLE SALES. The gavel has spoken, Order the Roomba is circling in agreement, and Reginald must now adjourn to scream into a throw pillow about automated valuations.