The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the injustice perpetrated against you by these measuring-tape vigilantes who apparently believed the backyard would expand like a sponge dinosaur once they took ownership. Let Reginald be absolutely clear — these people had a SURVEY, a DISCLOSURE, and presumably functioning EYEBALLS during their walkthrough, yet somehow the grass betrayed them at the eleventh hour. I once had a client try to back out because the garage "felt judgmental" and even THAT made more sense than measuring your future lawn three days before closing like you're solving a crime. The audacity of leaving two stars — TWO STARS — as if that one withheld star was their final act of mercy, their gift to you, their acknowledgment that you technically answered the phone at 11 PM while they weaponized the phrase "we feel deceived" like a incantation that would summon the Contract Dissolution Fairy. You should have told them that feelings are not a title exception and that The Court once ruled against a birdbath for creating "unrealistic expectations of outdoor ambiance" in Simmons v. That Decorative Frog, 2022. The two-star review is your Purple Heart, agent — wear it with pride, for you have survived combat with people who believed vibes superseded surveys.