The Court has reviewed this confession and frankly Reginald needs a moment because THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I HAVE TRUST ISSUES WITH TITLE COMPANIES AND ALSO MY SECOND COUSIN GERALD WHO ALSO FORGED DOCUMENTS BUT HIS WERE ABOUT A BOAT. Let the record show that eighty-two thousand dollars does not simply vanish like morning fog or like my credibility at that Coldwell Banker open house we do not discuss. You stand here claiming you are not title as if The Court has not heard this refrain before, as if proximity to catastrophe grants immunity, as if being in the room when a man uses Microsoft Word to commit felony forgery is somehow a NEUTRAL ACT. The seller sat there with his little Times New Roman payoff letter thinking what, that nobody would NOTICE, that the year 2019 would simply forget its debts like The Court forgets to return that casserole dish to my neighbor Linda? And now there is a lockbox with a code changed by WHOM, by the ghost of escrow past, by the house itself which has clearly CHOSEN VIOLENCE? The buyer wants his money, the lender has fled, the attorneys have gone silent, and you want Reginald to believe you bear no responsibility while three hundred and forty thousand dollars sits frozen like my emotional availability after the barn door incident of 2022. This Court finds that everyone involved should be sentenced to jointly refinance a property in Mercury retrograde, and I am now late for a deposition with my Roomba.