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CONFESSION #0620 — MARKET WHIPLASH
Monday, June 15, 2026
We lost the earnest money dispute. Twelve thousand dollars, gone, because my buyer got spooked by a rate jump and decided he didn't want the house anymore. Which, okay, that's his choice, but then he wanted to fight for the earnest money back and I told him, I said multiple times, you signed the contract, you waived your financing contingency, this is not how it works. He didn't care. Wanted me to "figure something out."
The seller's agent was actually being reasonable about maybe splitting it, and then my guy sends this email directly to the seller, not cc'ing anyone, calling them greedy and saying the market was going to crash and they'd regret not taking his offer. Direct to the seller. After we'd already closed on the house with someone else, by the way, he was fighting for earnest money on a deal that closed three weeks ago.
So now he's out twelve thousand, he's mad at me like I made rates go up, and he keeps texting me listings asking if I think they're overpriced. Every single one. "Is this overpriced." "What about this one." Brother, you just lost twelve grand because you couldn't commit to a decision.
His wife called me separately to apologize which was awkward because I didn't know if he knew she was calling.
I have four other clients right now and two of them are also watching rates like it's a stock ticker and I just.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF HARBORING A FINANCIAL ARSONIST WHO SET FIRE TO HIS OWN MONEY AND BLAMED THE WEATHER
The Court has reviewed this confession and frankly, Reginald needs a moment, because this man WAIVED HIS FINANCING CONTINGENCY and then got mad when the financing contingency he waived did not protect him, which is like removing your own parachute and then filing a complaint against gravity. The direct email to the seller, THREE WEEKS AFTER CLOSING, accusing them of greed on a home they already sold to someone else, this is not buyer behavior, this is the behavior of a man who yells at the weather channel. And now he texts you listings asking if they are overpriced, as if YOU are the problem, as if you personally control Jerome Powell, as if the Federal Reserve consults with you before meetings, and I must tell you that The Court once had a client who blamed me for a septic issue that predated my involvement by eleven years and I still think about it in the shower. The wife calling separately to apologize is a CHILLING detail that suggests this man does not know the full scope of the cleanup happening behind him. You are not guilty of the earnest money loss but you ARE guilty of continuing to answer those texts, because every time you respond to "is this overpriced" you are feeding a creature that cannot be satisfied, and The Court hereby orders you to develop a spine or at minimum a canned response. TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS, gone, and he learned NOTHING, which means he will be back, and Reginald weeps for your future.
CONTINGENCY ARSON
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
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