The Court has reviewed this chronicle of paralysis and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL. Thirty-four houses. THIRTY-FOUR. These buyers treated home shopping like a Netflix series they refused to commit to finishing, and you, Agent, were the streaming service that kept autoplayING THE NEXT EPISODE despite all evidence suggesting cancellation was the only merciful option. Reginald himself once dated a woman who took eleven minutes to order a sandwich at a deli, and he ENDED THAT RELATIONSHIP ON THE SPOT because he recognized the warning signs of catastrophic indecision — yet you, you enabled these people through SIX SHOWINGS of the SAME PROPERTY while they performed what can only be described as psychological edging on a three-bedroom colonial. The audacity of texting to ask if the new buyers might back out is not merely delusional, it is a CRIMINAL ACT against the concept of forward momentum itself. In the matter of Buyer v. Any Actual Decision, 2024, this Court finds that these individuals should be sentenced to rent forever, and you should be sentenced to a spa day and a pre-qualification requirement so strict it makes a mortgage broker weep. The gavel has spoken and The Court must now go lie down because this confession has given Reginald chest pains.