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CONFESSION #0632 — NEW AGENT BAPTISM BY FIRE
Saturday, June 20, 2026
The buyers came back for a third showing and I thought great, they're serious, this is happening, except what I didn't know (because my mentor was "traveling" which meant unreachable in Cabo) was that the seller had already accepted a backup offer two days prior and nobody updated the MLS status, so I'm walking these people through the house for the third time, they're measuring for furniture, the wife is crying a little because she grew up on this street, and my phone buzzes with an email from the listing agent that just says "property is under contract, please discontinue showings" and I'm standing in the primary bedroom watching this couple talk about where the crib would go. I had to tell them in that room. In front of the closet they'd already mentally filled with their stuff. The husband asked me how this happens and I said I don't know because I genuinely did not know, I'd been licensed for six weeks, and then he asked if I could find out and I said yes but what I meant was I will spend the next four hours crying in my car and then calling my mentor who will not answer because he's in Cabo and then I will google "can a listing agent be sued" at 2am and the answer is complicated.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF INVOLUNTARY EMOTIONAL MANSLAUGHTER IN THE PRESENCE OF AN IMAGINARY CRIB
The Court has reviewed this confession and must pause to collect itself because THIS IS EXACTLY WHY REGINALD HAS TRUST ISSUES WITH THE MLS SYSTEM. You stood there, six weeks into your career, watching a woman weep about her childhood street while her husband measured for a crib that will never exist in that room, and somewhere in Cabo your mentor was probably drinking something with an umbrella in it while the listing agent sat on information like a dragon hoarding gold except the gold was basic professional communication. The Court finds you guilty not of malice but of being COLLATERAL DAMAGE in a system that treats status updates like optional suggestions, and frankly this reminds me of the time I tried to place a bid on a foreclosure only to discover it had been sold three weeks prior to a man named Doug who I am STILL not over. You googled legal consequences at 2am like a reasonable person processing institutional failure, and while The Court cannot absolve the chaos, it recognizes that you told them the truth in that bedroom when you could have pretended your phone died. Your mentor, however, is hereby sentenced in absentia to explain himself before The Council, which is my collection of gavels, and they are NOT lenient. This Court must now adjourn because Reginald needs to lie down.
SCANDAL RATING: 4.7/10 Cabo Negligence Casualty

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