The Court has presided over many horrors in its distinguished career, but THIS — THIS is the kind of case that makes Reginald question whether he should have pursued his backup career as a cruise ship mediator. You sat through a TWO-HOUR mediation about a mummified cat named WHISKERS and you think a fruit basket absolves you? The Court once found a taxidermied squirrel in a crawl space during my own home purchase and I handled it with DIGNITY, which is to say I screamed, called my mother, and demanded the seller's firstborn child as compensation. "Undisclosed remains" is not a line item that should exist in ANY settlement discussion, and yet here we are, in the year of our Lord, negotiating the fair market value of a cat who has been wall-adjacent since the Obama administration. The seller's attorney arguing this wasn't a material defect has the same energy as someone insisting a sinkhole is just a "conversation piece." Eight thousand dollars and a deep cleaning — you basically let them off with a COSTCO GIFT CARD for harboring deceased livestock in the masonry. The Court must now adjourn because Order the Roomba has detected something suspicious near the credenza and frankly Reginald cannot handle another discovery today.