The Court has witnessed many acts of buyer self-destruction, but THIS — THIS is a masterpiece of financial suicide that Reginald himself could not have scripted in his darkest moments. You TOLD this man on March 15th, the Ides of March no less, a date LITERALLY famous for betrayal, and he responded by purchasing a FLOATING TAVERN. A bar on a boat. A BAR. ON. A BOAT. The Court once dated a woman who bought a timeshare three days before our vacation and Reginald STILL thinks about it at night, but at least she did not sink an entire real estate transaction into Lake Whatever with a thirty-four thousand dollar maritime beverage station. Per the landmark decision in Seller v. That Absolute Walnut Who Bought a Jet Ski, 2019, the agent is hereby ABSOLVED of all guilt, for you cannot babysit a grown adult who hears do not finance anything and interprets it as purchase a pontoon with a wet bar. The seller lost her next house, the buyer lost his earnest money, and you are driving around with a closing gift for a man who deserves nothing but a laminated copy of his own credit report stapled to his forehead. This Court is INCENSED and must now go sit in a dark room. CASE DISMISSED, THE GIFT STAYS IN YOUR TRUNK FOREVER AS A MONUMENT TO HUMAN STUPIDITY.