The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself in a state of PROFOUND JUDICIAL DISTRESS. Let Reginald be absolutely clear: what we have here is an inspector who looked at decorative ceramic remnants — DECORATIVE, non-functional historical artifacts essentially serving as attic jewelry — and declared them an active electrical hazard with the same confidence I once declared my neighbor's pergola a code violation (it was NOT, and the restraining order was EXCESSIVE). This inspector committed what The Court recognizes as Diagnostic Malpractice Under the Doctrine of Actually Looking At Things, established in the landmark case of In re: That Guy Who Called a Water Heater a Furnace, 2019. The buyer's agent's failure to communicate is equally egregious — she terminated a contract like she was canceling a DoorDash order, no discussion, no verification, just vibes and cowardice. TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS evaporated because someone saw old ceramic and panicked like my aunt did when she thought the smart thermostat was watching her. The fact that the new buyers closed without mentioning those same ceramic pieces proves what The Court has long suspected: home inspections are just expensive horoscopes with flashlights. This Court hereby sentences the original inspector to one year of mandatory electrical continuing education and a lifetime of Reginald's disappointment, which I assure you is substantial. ORDER IN THE COURT — and by Order I mean my Roomba, who is currently stuck under the credenza but whose jurisdiction remains intact.