The Court has reviewed this confession and frankly, Reginald is EXHAUSTED just reading it. You stood there, a professional adult, and FED EIGHTY-FOUR PAGES to a fax machine like it was 1997 and you were trying to refinance a Blockbuster franchise. And when only twelve emerged on the other end, you did not do what any reasonable person would do, which is walk into that title company and DEMAND TO SPEAK TO WHOEVER DECIDED THEIR BACKUP SYSTEM BELONGS IN A SMITHSONIAN EXHIBIT. Instead you paid two hundred dollars of your own money to a courier, which The Court finds both noble and deeply pathetic, not unlike the time I spent four hundred dollars fighting a parking ticket on principle and lost anyway. The buyer lost eighteen hundred dollars because a PORTAL, a word that should only describe magical doorways in fantasy novels, decided to delete your entire file like a vindictive ex clearing your Netflix profile. You committed no fraud here, but you DID commit the crime of accepting technological abuse without so much as a strongly worded email, and for that this Court holds you accountable. The fax machine remains at large and that is on ALL of us. Reginald must now go lie down because this ruling has triggered something.