The Court has reviewed this testimony and frankly, Reginald is EXHAUSTED. You stood there, a licensed professional, while a woman waved a phone at you like it was the Rosetta Stone of real estate, and you did NOT immediately confiscate it as evidence of digital delusion. She cited Zillow v. Common Sense (2021) without even knowing she was doing it. And the HUSBAND — knocking on walls like some kind of discount home inspector, declaring structural value through PERCUSSION — this is not how appraisals work, this is how you check if a watermelon is ripe. The Court once had a buyer try to Zestimate my OWN CHAMBERS and I had Order the Roomba escort them from the premises with extreme prejudice. You had a cash offer at 510, DOCUMENTED AND LEGITIMATE, and this woman looked you in the eye and said "but the app says." THE APP. You should have asked her if the app also told her that the drainage easement next door is buildable because apparently we are all just living in whatever reality Zillow's algorithm hallucinates today. The Court finds your restraint technically admirable but spiritually cowardly, and sentences you to one loud sigh every time someone opens Zillow within fifteen feet of you. Reginald must now go lie down.