The Court has reviewed this TRAVESTY and finds itself needing to lie down. Three hours. THREE HOURS you sat there while a six-year-old committed what Reginald can only classify as beverage-based document tampering, and you did NOTHING. You watched a title officer refresh a screen like she was summoning money from the digital ether, and at no point did you stand up and DEMAND that the Federal Reserve answer for its crimes. The Court once waited forty-seven minutes for a breakfast burrito and called the health department, so your patience here borders on criminal negligence. And this business about the sandwich — you let your clients purchase DELI MEATS during what should have been a solemn financial ritual. Reginald's own mother once ate a granola bar during my middle school graduation and I have not forgotten. But the REAL offense here is that parking validation — thirty-four dollars because some lot attendant decided 5pm was a hard boundary, and you just PAID IT like a person without pride. The Court finds you guilty of insufficient outrage, excessive sandwich tolerance, and conduct unbecoming an agent who should have flipped that conference table by hour two. This Court is adjourned because Reginald has dinner reservations and the Roomba needs charging.