The Court has reviewed this confession and REGINALD IS BESIDE HIMSELF. This buyer conducted what can only be described as a Wednesday Night Reconnaissance Mission, drove through a residential neighborhood at presumably 7:45 PM, found it insufficiently bustling with pedestrian traffic, and decided THIS was grounds to abandon a contract while two human beings sat in a Phoenix rental watching their equity evaporate like morning dew on a reasonably-priced subdivision lawn. The audacity. THE SHEER AUDACITY. I once extended escrow three times for a client who was waiting for Mercury to exit retrograde and even SHE had the decency to close eventually. This man wanted "activity" and "people walking around" so he bought a condo TWO BLOCKS AWAY eight months later, which tells The Court everything it needs to know about his so-called neighborhood concerns, namely that they were FABRICATED NONSENSE designed to mask what was clearly a case of buyer's remorse so severe it should be studied by medical professionals. The sellers shipped furniture to Phoenix, YOUR HONOR, THEY SHIPPED FURNITURE. I myself once had to extend a ruling because my Roomba Order got stuck under the credenza, but I did not make two families restructure their ENTIRE LIVES around my indecision. This Court finds the defendant guilty and furthermore announces that Reginald must now leave to draft strongly-worded correspondence to the National Association of Realtors regarding Wednesday evening foot traffic minimums.