The Court is APOPLECTIC. You stood there, a licensed professional, while a woman — a MOTHER, no less — committed what can only be described as exploratory drywall terrorism, and your response was to offer a brief tutorial on interior wall construction? Reginald once watched his own mother test a cantaloupe by dropping it from shoulder height in a Kroger, and even HE had the dignity to pretend he didn't know her. You allowed six holes, AGENT. Six. That's not a walkthrough, that's a percussion concert. And now you sit before this Court, haunted by a card that says "check the attic," and you have the AUDACITY to tell me you won't look? The attic is not optional. The attic is EVIDENCE. For all we know, that mother has been nesting up there since 2019, waiting, hammer in hand, ready to test the structural integrity of your entire career. As established in Hammer v. Drywall Integrity Board (2022), "she who does not intervene in maternal wall testing shall inherit the mystery of the attic." The Court finds you guilty, deeply unsettled, and orders you to ascend those pull-down stairs within forty-eight hours or face Reginald's disappointment, which is considerable.