The Court is APPALLED. Twelve years in this profession and you deployed the "it looked newer" defense, a legal strategy last successfully used in Maytag v. Wishful Thinking, 1987, and even THEN the judge had to excuse himself to scream into a courthouse pillow. You saw a shiny surface and your brain said "ah yes, this is definitely not from the Obama administration," which is the same logic that caused Reginald to purchase what turned out to be a 1994 Buick LeSabre from a man who described it as "gently pre-loved." The husband was standing there with his PHONE CALCULATOR, a clear warning sign that this man would eventually discover your crimes, and yet you chose violence. You chose to look at a water heater and GUESS AT IT like some sort of appliance psychic operating without a license. And then, THE INDIGNITY, you paid four hundred dollars of your own money to cover up your optical delusion, which this Court views as consciousness of guilt AND poor financial planning. The sticker was still on it because GHOSTS DO NOT REMOVE STICKERS, and that water heater was a ghost from 2009 haunting that basement waiting to expose you. Reginald sentences you to carry a flashlight in your mouth at all future showings until you learn that "newer" is a word with MEANING.