The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself DEEPLY DISTURBED by the chain of events herein described. Let the record show that a $340,000 transaction was held hostage by what this Court can only assume was a server in Ohio being operated by a raccoon with a grudge. You told a man he was homeless TONIGHT, Agent, and while The Court acknowledges you did not personally crash the title company's systems, Reginald cannot help but note that you used the word "technically" before delivering that news, which is the verbal equivalent of putting a tiny bow on a hand grenade. The husband called you DIRECTLY, which this Court agrees is a violation of sacred boundaries — I once had a buyer's father-in-law call me about a septic inspection at 11pm and I still think about it when I cannot sleep. A FRUIT BASKET. They sent a FRUIT BASKET to atone for rendering American citizens temporarily unhoused while their worldly possessions sat in a truck accruing $200 in hostage fees. In the matter of Generic Pear Arrangement v. Basic Human Dignity, the pears lose EVERY TIME. The Court must now adjourn to draft strongly worded legislation against server farms in the Midwest.