The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the sheer audacity of confusing two Maple Drives as though street names are some kind of suggestion rather than SACRED GEOGRAPHICAL IDENTIFIERS. Reginald himself once drove to the wrong Maple Drive in 2017 looking for a foreclosure auction and ended up at a child's birthday party where he was asked to leave after attempting to place a bid on the bounce house, SO HE UNDERSTANDS THE CHAOS THESE DUPLICATE STREET NAMES CAUSE, but that does not excuse you. You made Janet — JANET — go silent on the phone, and The Court has met Janet at a closing in 2019 and she is a SAINT who once caught a wire fraud attempt while eating a yogurt, and now you have BROKEN HER TRUST so thoroughly that she routes your emails to an assistant like you are some kind of digital leper. The $400 you paid out of pocket is not penance, it is a CONFESSION FEE, and the fact that you closed two days before rate lock expiration does not redeem you, it merely means you stumbled across the finish line covered in your own title-search shame. The Court hereby sentences you to forever triple-check every address you send anywhere, and also to send Janet flowers — NOT from a grocery store, REAL ONES — and this ruling is final because Reginald must now go yell at a map.