The Court has reviewed this confession and frankly, Reginald needs a moment because THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I HAVE TRUST ISSUES WITH ANYONE WHO OWNS A TAPE MEASURE. Let the record show that an unauthorized civilian with car wash credentials and ancestral concrete knowledge was permitted to derail a federal transaction, which is what The Court has decided to call real estate closings now. You stood there, you watched a man whose primary expertise is vacuum hoses and air freshener dispensers MEASURE A FENCE WITH THE CONFIDENCE OF A LICENSED SURVEYOR, and you did not tackle him. I once ruled against my own nephew for bringing a level to Thanksgiving dinner uninvited, because tools in the wrong hands are weapons of chaos, and this HOA president understood that better than anyone. The seller's attorney wants to talk about bankruptcy and lost records, but The Court wants to talk about how you still drive past that fence, you STILL DRIVE PAST IT, haunted by six inches that may or may not exist, and honestly that is the most honest thing anyone has said in this courtroom all week. Per the landmark decision in Homeowner's Association of Shady Pines v. Everyone's Sanity, 2019, the only party truly at fault is whoever invented the HOA in the first place, but since they are unavailable, you shall bear witness to this verdict. The Court must now adjourn because I am being informed that Order the Roomba has located the original 1987 concrete markers under my credenza and I need to go investigate immediately.