The Court has reviewed this confession and must now lie down, though Reginald does not have a fainting couch in chambers because the BUDGET COMMITTEE said it was unnecessary, and yet HERE WE ARE. Six weeks. SIX WEEKS. Over a tree that, according to your own testimony, REMAINS STANDING TO THIS DAY, unmolested, unbothered, continuing its forty-year photosynthetic career while you aged visibly. The Court finds it deeply troubling that a licensed professional witnessed two adults negotiate for A MONTH over three thousand dollars, which is, for the record, less than I spent last year on gavel maintenance, and yet you failed to intervene with the only appropriate response: locking them both in the breakfast nook until they developed object permanence. In the landmark case of Sunlight v. That One Buyer Who Definitely Also Complains About Restaurant Lighting, 2019, the Court established that anyone who uses the phrase quote blocks the afternoon light unquote should be automatically assigned a therapist, not a real estate transaction. I once lost a friendship over crown molding, so I understand the stakes here, but at least crown molding is INSIDE THE HOUSE. The tree remains. The chaos was manufactured. The Court sentences you to one full year of only showing properties with north-facing breakfast nooks, and also I must leave immediately because Order just bumped into the witness stand and I need to restore courtroom dignity.