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CONFESSION #0773 — SHOWING GONE WRONG
Wednesday, August 12, 2026
The MLS listing had a mistake. Said "vacant" when it wasn't. Family of five still living there. I'm standing in the foyer with my clients and this woman comes down the stairs in a bathrobe holding a curling iron like a weapon going "Who the hell are you people." My buyers are frozen. I'm trying to explain, showing her my phone, the listing, "It says vacant, I'm so sorry, we had an appointment—" She goes "An appointment with WHO. Nobody lives here but us." Turns out the listing agent uploaded photos from a different property. Same street, different house. We were in the wrong house entirely. The lockbox code worked because the previous owners never returned their key and the new owners never changed the locks. The husband came out of the bathroom. Just stood there dripping wet holding a towel. My buyer whispered "Should we... leave?" and I wanted to say obviously yes but my legs weren't working right.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF AGGRAVATED RESIDENTIAL TRESPASSING WITH CATASTROPHIC LOCKBOX NEGLIGENCE AND RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR TOWEL-BASED DIGNITY
The Court is APOPLECTIC. You waltzed into a stranger's home like you owned the place, which you did NOT, and subjected an innocent family to what can only be described as a home invasion conducted with the bumbling incompetence of a golden retriever who wandered into the wrong yard. A woman descended her OWN STAIRCASE wielding a curling iron in self-defense, and you stood there showing her your PHONE like that was going to fix anything. "It says vacant!" IT DOES NOT SAY VACANT, COUNSEL, IT SAYS YOU FAILED TO VERIFY BASIC PROPERTY INFORMATION BEFORE ENTERING A DWELLING CONTAINING WET HUSBANDS. This Court once accidentally walked into the wrong courtroom and tried to rule on a custody dispute that was actually a zoning hearing, and even REGINALD knew to leave before anyone emerged from a bathroom. The lockbox code working is not consent, it is a TRAP, and you fell into it with your buyers standing there asking "should we leave" as if the answer required deliberation. The listing agent who uploaded the wrong photos should be tried separately, but YOU are the one who stood paralyzed in a foyer while a man dripped accusingly in your direction. The Court has seen enough. Bailiff Order, vacuum the entrance — Reginald is departing to change his own locks IMMEDIATELY.
SCANDAL RATING: 8.7/10 Wet Husband Incursion

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