The Court has reviewed this tale of incremental boundary tragedy and finds itself DEEPLY DISTURBED by the defendant's decision to purchase a tape measure and deploy it as though certification were merely a suggestion. You drove out there on a SATURDAY, agent, with a measuring device you clearly obtained from a hardware store that asked no questions, and you discovered that the encroachment was ONE INCH LESS than previously believed, and then you stood there in the grass realizing that mathematics had betrayed you. Reginald himself once measured a disputed flagstone patio for eleven consecutive weekends before his therapist intervened, so The Court understands the compulsion, but understanding is not absolution. The brother's six-minute phone call about government overreach is EXHIBIT A in why this Court has ruled that speakerphone should require a permit. You drive past that fence sometimes, agent, and The Court knows exactly what you are doing out there, you are GRIEVING, you are performing a vehicular vigil for a deal that died over two inches of wood and bureaucratic inertia. As established in Neighbor v. That Guy With The Survey Stakes, 2019, an encroachment of less than three inches is technically classified as a fence having opinions, and this HOA had NO BUSINESS demanding $150 to discuss feelings. The Court sentences you to never measure anything again without emotional supervision, and Reginald must now leave because Order the Roomba has located something under the credenza that requires immediate judicial attention.