The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself INCANDESCENT with recognition, because Reginald once dated a woman who claimed to have no memory of a breakfast nook SHE PERSONALLY TILED, and that relationship ended poorly, much like this transaction appears to be ending. You stand here, financially underwater, emotionally gasping, while a grown adult human woman gazes upon a LITERAL ARCHITECTURAL ADDITION TO HER HOME and claims ignorance like the sunroom simply materialized one morning between her coffee and her lies. The Court notes that you have committed no actual wrongdoing here, which is FRANKLY INCONVENIENT for my docket, but your crime is the universal sin of being new and broke and hopeful in an industry that feeds on exactly that combination. You told buyers it was handled when it was merely being handled-adjacent, which is the real estate equivalent of saying dinner is ready when you have not yet turned on the stove. The contractor's disconnected number haunts this Court, as does your $847 month, as does the seller's attorney who apparently believes email responses are distributed on a merit-based system HE ALONE ADMINISTERS. Reginald hereby orders the sunroom to be deposed as a witness, and furthermore declares that the morning light better be SPECTACULAR because it is currently the only asset in this entire situation appreciating in value. The Court must now adjourn to call my own title company about an unrelated matter I am not prepared to discuss.