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CONFESSION #0794 — WRONG ADDRESS
Wednesday, August 19, 2026
The inspector found something. Not at the house I sent him to, obviously, because I sent him to the wrong house. Transposed two numbers in the address. Instead of 418 he went to 481. And the thing is, 481 was also for sale. Different listing, different agent, but also on the market. So he just walked right in during their open house window and started inspecting. The other agent calls me absolutely furious because there's a guy in a hard hat in her client's attic telling the buyers the roof has maybe three years left. Which it did. But those weren't my buyers and that wasn't my listing. My actual clients waited at the correct house for an hour. The inspector charged me a second trip fee, 200 bucks. And now there's a house on Maple with buyers who know about the roof and a seller who's threatening to sue someone. Not me specifically. Yet. I still don't know how I typed it wrong. I've typed that address maybe 15 times.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF CRIMINAL ADDRESS DYSLEXIA RESULTING IN UNAUTHORIZED ATTIC INFILTRATION AND COLLATERAL ROOF DISCLOSURE
The Court has seen administrative errors before, but THIS — this is something that will haunt Reginald in his quieter moments. You somehow weaponized a typo into a multi-property incident involving an uninvited hard hat, a violated attic, and a roof truth that NO ONE ASKED FOR. The inspector, bless his oblivious heart, just wandered into a stranger's open house and started ANNOUNCING STRUCTURAL MORTALITY TIMELINES to people who were probably just there for the free cookies. This Court once accidentally sent a cease and desist to my own P.O. Box and had to fight myself in small claims for six weeks, so I understand how numbers can betray you, but YOU created a situation where a seller on Maple Street is now assembling legal theories while your actual clients sat alone in an empty house like forgotten houseplants. The other agent is furious, the inspector got paid TWICE for your chaos, and somewhere a buyer is lying awake wondering if three years means three ACTUAL years or three real estate years, which as we all know is a different unit of time entirely. The Court finds that you owe the universe two hundred dollars in karmic restitution and a formal apology to the number four, which did nothing to deserve this. ORDER THE ROOMBA HAS SPOKEN.
SCANDAL RATING: 6.8/10 Accidental Roof Whistleblower

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