The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the audacity of a seller who watched a grown man insert his ENTIRE HAND through a foundation wall and called it cosmetic. Reginald once had a client describe a flooded basement as "an indoor water feature" and THAT was more defensible than this nonsense. You spent six weeks shepherding reasonable buyers through a reasonable process only to watch a seller torpedo their own sale out of sheer spite, then sell for TWELVE THOUSAND LESS to strangers three months later, which The Court recognizes as the real estate equivalent of setting your own hair on fire to avoid a haircut. That eight hundred dollar shortage on your commission was not an error, it was the universe attempting to compensate you for emotional damages while simultaneously acknowledging that no amount of money can restore the hours you spent pretending a structural engineer's forty-two thousand dollar quote was "just something to consider." The Court notes that "cosmetic" is a word that applies to mascara and perhaps a questionable backsplash, NOT to holes through which one can observe the passage of the sun. You are guilty only of proximity to madness, but the seller, wherever they are, is hereby sentenced in absentia to live in a home where every single door sticks. Reginald must now go lie down.