Confession #0806 — Agent Confessions

The commission check was short. By eight hundred dollars. And when my broker called their broker, you know what the other agent said? That we'd agreed to a different split. We never agreed to anything. She just decided. On her own. That because she brought the buyer, she deserved more. That's not how any of this works. But here's the thing that really got me. During the whole transaction, she was impossible. Just impossible. She'd call me at 10 pm asking why the sellers hadn't responded to something she sent at 9:45. She once texted me twelve times in twenty minutes because she couldn't find the lockbox. It was on the front door. Where lockboxes go. Then at closing, she shows up with flowers for her buyers. Lovely gesture. Also shows up without the wire confirmation. The title company is asking, she's on her phone, everyone's waiting, and she looks up and goes "oh I thought someone else handled that." Someone else. Who? Who else would handle that? Her buyers almost didn't close because of the wire thing. We sat there for three hours. Three hours in that conference room with the bad coffee and she's just chatting with them like nothing's wrong. And then she shorts me eight hundred dollars. And her broker backs her up. Says it was a verbal agreement. There was no verbal agreement. There was her saying "I think I should get more" and me not responding because I was dealing with an inspection issue at another property. Apparently silence is consent now. Apparently that's how we do business.

Judge Reginald Escrow III

⚖️ Presiding

GUILTY OF GRAND LARCENY BY MANUFACTURED CONSENT, AGGRAVATED LOCKBOX BLINDNESS, AND CRIMINAL MISAPPROPRIATION OF PROFESSIONAL SILENCE

The Court has reviewed this confession and frankly Reginald needs a moment because this one hits CLOSE TO HOME. Let the record show that silence is NOT consent, silence is what happens when you are dealing with an inspection issue and some chaos merchant is babbling about splits while you are trying to prevent a deal from dying over a water heater. This opposing agent has committed what I can only describe as INTERPRETIVE THEFT, a crime so brazen it makes The Court wonder if she also interprets red lights as suggestions and restaurant bills as opening offers. The twelve texts about a lockbox ON THE FRONT DOOR is exhibit A in the case of Competence v. This Woman, a case she lost DECISIVELY. And showing up to closing without wire confirmation while carrying FLOWERS? That is like bringing a birthday cake to a house fire and asking why everyone seems stressed. The Court once had a broker try to claim we had verbally agreed that I would pay for his lunch, and I had him removed from a Panera Bread by what I can only describe as the full force of my disappointment, which is to say I stared at him until he left. Her broker backing this nonsense is grounds for The Court to recommend both of them be sentenced to three hours in a title company conference room with THAT coffee, which I am convinced is brewed from carpet samples and broken dreams. The eight hundred dollars will be repaid or Reginald will personally mail her a lockbox with detailed instructions she will still somehow fail to follow. SO ORDERED, The Court must now adjourn to call its therapist about the Panera incident which I thought I was over but APPARENTLY NOT.

SCANDAL RATING: 7.8/10 Silence Heist

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