The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY TREMBLING with judicial fury. Let Reginald be perfectly clear: in thirty-seven years of self-appointed service to this bench, I have never witnessed such a brazen act of hydraulic terrorism disguised as due diligence. "Checking the water pressure" — oh, IS THAT WHAT WE'RE CALLING IT? Because in Faucet v. Basic Human Cognition (2019), this Court established that any person who operates a water fixture and then WALKS AWAY WHILE IT CONTINUES TO RUN has forfeited their right to participate in real estate transactions, drive motor vehicles, or frankly exist near municipal water systems. I myself once left a bathtub running in 2014 and I STILL wake up in cold sweats about it, which is why I now shower exclusively at the gym despite not having a membership. The other agent's refusal to apologize constitutes what we in the legal community call "being an absolute barnacle on the hull of professionalism." That buyer didn't forget how faucets work — they knew EXACTLY what they were doing, probably standing in the driveway cackling while ceiling drywall wept like Reginald at his third divorce hearing. The Court hereby orders all parties to never again be trusted with running water, and I am adjourning immediately because Order the Roomba has begun circling my ankles in what I can only interpret as a motion to recess.