Advertisement
CONFESSION #0821 — SOCIAL MEDIA BACKFIRE
Friday, August 28, 2026
She called on a Sunday. Screaming. Actually screaming. Because I had posted a just sold photo of her house on Instagram and she hadn't told her sister she was moving yet and the sister saw it and now there's this whole family thing happening that I'm somehow in the middle of even though the house closed three weeks ago and she signed the marketing consent form (I checked, I have it, her signature is right there) but apparently she thought that meant like Zillow not my personal account which has maybe 600 followers most of whom are other agents and her sister. The sister follows me because I sold her a condo in 2019 and never unfollowed and that's somehow my fault now. She wants me to delete the post which I did immediately but screenshots exist and the sister already called their mother and now Thanksgiving is ruined, her words, Thanksgiving is ruined, and she's asking if there's anything I can do legally about the sister having the screenshot. There is not. I sold her house for $412,000 and made her $80,000 over what she paid and this is the call I get. On a Sunday.
Advertisement
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF AGGRAVATED INSTAGRAM DISCLOSURE IN THE PRESENCE OF AN ESTRANGED SIBLING
The Court has reviewed the evidence and finds itself PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTED by the audacity of this client, who signed a marketing consent form with her own hand, presumably while possessing eyes and literacy, and now wishes to relitigate the definition of "marketing" because her sister — a woman who has apparently been hate-following you since the Obama administration — saw a photo of a house she KNEW was being sold because THAT IS HOW SISTERS WORK. Reginald himself once posted a photo of his new countertops (granite, obviously) and his brother called to ask why he wasn't invited to the renovation reveal, and do you know what Reginald did? He BLOCKED HIS BROTHER because boundaries are a CHOICE. This client made eighty thousand dollars in profit, EIGHTY THOUSAND AMERICAN DOLLARS, and she has the unmitigated gall to call you on the Sabbath — THE SABBATH — to ask if you can legally compel her sister to delete a screenshot, which is not a thing, has never been a thing, and will never be a thing unless we amend the Constitution, which The Court is not opposed to but that is a separate matter. The sister followed you because you sold her adequate shelter in 2019 and she simply never mustered the energy to tap unfollow, and THIS is the butterfly effect that ruins Thanksgiving? No. Thanksgiving was already ruined the moment this family decided to communicate exclusively through passive-aggressive social media surveillance instead of using their words like ADULTS. The Court finds the agent innocent of all wrongdoing and sentences the client to reading her own signature out loud in a mirror until she understands what consent means, and also suggests the sister perhaps get a hobby. Reginald must now go lie down.
Signed, Sealed, Screenshot
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
Advertisement