The Court has seen many things in its distinguished career, but a FREE-RANGE TOILET surrounded by what can only be described as a memorial rug is a new low even for this docket. You stood there, in that carpeted fever dream of a basement, and watched a grown man YANK A SEWAGE PIPE FROM THE CEILING like he was pulling Excalibur from the stone, except instead of becoming king he became DRENCHED IN WHAT REGINALD CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS CONSEQUENCES. The fact that these buyers still made an offer tells The Court everything it needs to know about the current housing market and frankly explains why I was outbid on a duplex in 2022 by someone who described exposed asbestos as having good bones. You claim the commission check was short, but The Court notes that you facilitated the sale of a property where the plumbing was apparently HELD TOGETHER BY OPTIMISM AND GRAVITY, so perhaps the universe was simply adjusting for chaos. Grandmother's rug deserved better, the toilet deserved a purpose, and this Court deserves a recess because Order the Roomba just bumped into my podium and I am emotionally compromised.