The Court has reviewed this confession and frankly Reginald needs a moment because THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AT 47 BIRCHWOOD LANE IN 2021 EXCEPT IT WAS A WOMAN WITH A LEAF BLOWER AND A THEORY ABOUT DRAINAGE. You spent four hundred dollars on a survey to prove a fence was not six inches over a line, and somehow this is not the most unhinged detail in your testimony, because we have not yet addressed THE HUSBAND, who has appointed himself both judge and executioner of your signage, who has developed what can only be described as a Pool Prophecy based on events from 2019, who is PHOTOGRAPHING BUYERS like some kind of suburban paparazzo building a case for a court that does not exist. In Reginald v. That Guy Who Kept Honking During My Open House (2022), this Court established that neighbors with theories are more dangerous than neighbors with lawyers, and yet you have done NOTHING except absorb two hundred and fifty-five dollars in sign damage and watch your listing rot like a ranch home in purgatory. Your broker wants answers and The Court wants you to understand that the answer is YOU LET A MAN WITH A CAMERA AND A GRUDGE BECOME THE DE FACTO LISTING AGENT. Reginald must now go lie down because this has triggered something.