The Court has reviewed the evidence and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the sheer chaos presented here. You stand before Reginald not as a mere buyer's agent but as a co-conspirator in what can only be described as botanical terrorism against irreplaceable 1940s hardwood, and The Court WILL NOT BE MOVED by your claims of geographical alibi. Let the record show that in Potted Plant v. Original Flooring, 2019, this Court established that any agent within a fifteen-mile radius of an unsupervised moisture source bears what we call "splash zone liability," and you, counselor, were IN THE SPLASH ZONE. The child pushed the pot, you say, as if children are not KNOWN agents of destruction whose movements must be anticipated by any competent real estate professional, and I speak from experience because my nephew once knocked over my gavel display case and I have never recovered emotionally or legally. That the lemon tree remains in the home, unmoved, bearing fruit, MOCKING the buckling floorboards beneath it, is an insult to justice itself. The Court notes that you were in a Walgreens parking lot at 9pm which is EXACTLY where guilty people stand when they are trying to seem innocent. Reginald has seen enough, the Roomba is beeping, and you are hereby sentenced to live with what you have done.