The Court has witnessed many horrors in its years on this bench, but TWELVE MINUTES on beige versus eggshell while a transaction bleeds out on the operating table is a WAR CRIME against the concept of relevance. This HOA president — and The Court knows EXACTLY who she is because Reginald once received a certified letter about his mailbox flag being at a seventeen-degree angle instead of the mandated fifteen — has committed Obstruction of Commerce Through Chromatic Hysteria, a charge I am inventing right now because it NEEDS to exist. You, Agent, are guilty of LISTENING to this unhinged color wheel terrorist when you should have said "Ma'am, I am not your therapist, your neighbor, or your Sherwin-Williams consultant" and HUNG UP THE PHONE. The appraisal came in low because appraisals come in low, not because someone chose a paint chip from the wrong side of the off-white family, and the fact that you let her colonize twelve minutes of your professional life while your buyer's lender was probably screaming into a void suggests you have BOUNDARIES ISSUES that this Court cannot adjudicate but DEEPLY relates to. I once let a title officer talk to me for forty-five minutes about her divorce and I still do not know why the closing was delayed. The sellers killed this deal by refusing to negotiate, but you will carry the memory of that beige monologue forever, and THAT is your sentence. Reginald must go lie down now.