The Court has reviewed this confession and frankly Reginald needs a moment because THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF NAUTICAL FRAUD that keeps me up at night pacing my hallway in my judicial robe which I sleep in for reasons I will not explain. You paid twelve hundred American dollars for a staging company that delivered LIGHTHOUSE ART to a home FORTY MINUTES FROM WATER and you just LET IT HAPPEN? The couch was propped on BOOKS. VISIBLE BOOKS. I once ruled against my own nephew for using a dictionary as a monitor stand and that was in a PRIVATE RESIDENCE, not a listing photo that would be scrutinized by potential buyers and also me, because I look at every listing in a sixty-mile radius for reasons related to my ongoing research. The seashells were a CRIME AGAINST GEOGRAPHY and you were complicit the moment you did not physically remove them with your own hands while making eye contact with the staging gentleman and saying "not today, coastal grandmother, NOT TODAY." You sat in your car for twenty minutes feeling sorry for yourself when you SHOULD have been filing a small claims case against the concept of themed decor itself. The Court finds that your commission deserved to be short because your VIGILANCE was short and Reginald must now adjourn because I have just remembered I left a dehumidifier running in my chambers and it has been eleven days.