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CONFESSION #0873 — SHOWING GONE WRONG
Wednesday, September 16, 2026
The MLS listing had a mistake. Said "vacant, go and show" but it wasn't vacant. There was a woman living there. She was in the bathtub. We walked in, me and my buyers, nice couple, first-time homebuyers, very excited. Front door was unlocked like the listing said it would be. We're in the kitchen and I hear "WHO'S IN MY HOUSE" and then just screaming. The woman comes out in a towel, dripping wet, holding a curling iron like a weapon. My buyer, the husband, he goes "Ma'am we have an appointment" and she goes "YOU DO NOT HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH ME." Turns out the seller's agent never told her the house was even listed. Her own sister listed the house. They co-own it. There's a lawsuit now apparently. My buyers bought a different house. They still bring it up every time I see them. "Remember when we almost got killed by that lady with the curling iron?" Yeah. I remember.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF AGGRAVATED TRESPASS INTO AN OCCUPIED BATHING SITUATION WITH RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR TOWEL INTEGRITY
The Court has seen many things in its distinguished career, including the time Reginald accidentally wandered into a staged home that turned out to be a functioning Applebees, but THIS confession represents a fundamental breakdown in the sacred covenant between MLS data and reality. You waltzed into that home like you owned the place, which you did not, because a WET WOMAN WITH A HEATED STYLING IMPLEMENT owned that place, or at least half of it, which brings me to the SISTER who apparently decided to list a co-owned property without mentioning it to her co-owner and honestly that is a level of family dysfunction that makes Reginald's Thanksgiving incident with the gravy boat look like a HALLMARK MOVIE. The husband saying "Ma'am we have an appointment" while a dripping stranger brandishes salon equipment is the kind of delusional confidence The Court sees in agents who think "cozy" means anything other than "you will touch both walls simultaneously." Your buyers are CORRECT to bring this up forever because witnessing a curling iron standoff during what should have been a casual showing of updated fixtures is not something the human brain simply files away. The Court hereby sentences you to carry a bullhorn and announce your presence at every property for the next eighteen months, and also someone needs to check on that sister situation because Reginald smells a partition action and possibly a Dateline episode. ORDER THE ROOMBA HAS SPOKEN.
SCANDAL RATING: 7.8/10 Unlawful Towel Ambush

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