The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PROFOUNDLY DISTURBED by the specter of a woman who signed documents, moved to Florida, remarried, boarded a cruise ship, and yet STILL haunts this transaction like some kind of notarial ghost with a valid lien interest. Let Reginald be clear: this is not a closing, this is a HOSTAGE SITUATION where everyone is being held captive by a filing clerk who went to lunch in 2019 and apparently NEVER CAME BACK. The Court has seen this before, not in any actual case, but in a recurring dream where I am trying to close on a lakehouse and my own mother keeps appearing in the chain of title demanding I call her more often. You stood in that kitchen, counselor, watching a grown man say "but she signed it" into the void, and you did not OBJECT, you did not MOTION TO COMPEL THE OCEAN TO RETURN THIS WOMAN, you simply nodded and let the rate lock expire like some kind of interest rate hospice worker. The buyer is now paying three hundred and forty dollars a month in what The Court officially designates as the "Ex-Wife Cruise Surcharge," which over thirty years totals approximately one hundred twenty-two thousand dollars, or roughly the cost of the cruise she is currently enjoying while you suffer. This Court finds you guilty, the 2019 filing clerk guilty in absentia, and the concept of Florida guilty on general principle, and Reginald must now adjourn because Order the Roomba has entered chambers and is attempting to vacuum the verdict.