The Court has reviewed this timeline with the same mounting horror one experiences watching a Roomba approach a staircase. March 3rd through March 18th represents not a home buying journey but a HOSTAGE SITUATION, and the captor was a man with WiFi and too much free time. This husband — and Reginald knows this type, oh YES Reginald knows this type because Reginald's cousin married one and now they live in a rental with excellent foundation awareness but NO EQUITY — has committed what we in the legal profession call Zillow Terrorism. You submitted an offer FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS over asking and this man responded by becoming a foundation inspector, an arborist, AND an education policy analyst within the span of two weeks. The neighbor's tree, counsel? THE NEIGHBOR'S TREE? In the landmark case of YouTube Algorithm v. Marital Home Ownership (2022), the court ruled that any spouse who discovers a real estate conspiracy channel forfeits their right to opinions until they can prove they have also watched a video about how to actually CLOSE ON A PROPERTY. Six offers withdrawn is not house hunting, it is a form of performance art, and The Court is not amused. She apologized to you at a gas station and honestly that is more closure than most agents get, so take your little victory and RUN because those two will still be making and withdrawing offers when the sun explodes. ORDER THE ROOMBA HAS SPOKEN.