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CONFESSION #0897 — WRONG ADDRESS
Thursday, September 24, 2026
She rejected the offer. Said the backyard was too small. Which was confusing because when we toured the place she kept saying "this is perfect, this is exactly what I wanted." I'm talking about the backyard specifically. She said those words standing in the backyard.
Turns out we toured the wrong house.
The lockbox code worked. The listing said 412 Maple, I punched in the code, door opened. We walked through the whole thing. She loved it. Made an offer that night.
Seller calls me the next morning. "I don't have a koi pond."
There's a koi pond in the backyard. She specifically mentioned the koi pond.
The house was 412 Maple Court. Listing was 412 Maple Drive. Different subdivision. The lockbox code was identical because the listing agent uses the same code for everything, and she had a listing on both streets.
My client wanted to make an offer on the correct house but the owner wasn't selling. He was just out of town and now he's asking me about liability for the door we opened.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF AGGRAVATED CARTOGRAPHIC NEGLIGENCE AND UNLAWFUL KOI POND ENTICEMENT
The Court has presided over some spectacular failures of basic navigation, but THIS, this transcends mere incompetence and enters the realm of geographic MALPRACTICE. You walked a client through a STRANGER'S HOME, let her fall in love with a koi pond that was never hers to love, and now some poor man returns from vacation to discover his lockbox has been VIOLATED by a parade of uninvited dreamers. Reginald once drove to the wrong courthouse for three consecutive Tuesdays, but at least I did not then attempt to PURCHASE the building. The fact that another agent uses identical lockbox codes for multiple properties is a separate war crime this Court will address when she is inevitably dragged before me, but YOUR failure to distinguish between DRIVE and COURT is the kind of error that haunts families for generations. You have created a woman who now knows her perfect home exists, that she stood in its backyard, that she TOUCHED the koi pond, and that she can never have it because you cannot read a street sign. The homeowner asking about liability should be the LEAST of your concerns because the Court is moments away from issuing a restraining order requiring you to stay five hundred feet from all maps, GPS devices, and bodies of water containing ornamental fish. This Court rules that you owe that man an apology, your client a refund of her emotional investment, and those koi an explanation for the false hope they briefly represented.
Koi Pond Catfishing
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
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