The Court is APOPLECTIC. You stand before Reginald accused of participating in what can only be described as the most baffling property transfer since In re: That Time Someone Left A Hot Tub Full Of Koi Fish, 2019. A BEAGLE, counsel. A living, breathing, presumably howling beagle was included as an undisclosed fixture in that basement like some kind of furry water heater. The sellers THOUGHT CLOSING WAS TOMORROW? The Court has seen some calendar confusion in its day — Reginald himself once showed up to a mediation three days early and simply proceeded anyway because momentum is a legal doctrine — but this is UNCONSCIONABLE. You stood in your kitchen holding a fork, which The Court must note is not a legally recognized instrument of animal custody transfer, and you said the words "I genuinely don't know" to crying buyers who had just acquired an unexpected hound. The listing agent was unreachable, the sellers were presumably in a different time zone mentally, and that beagle sat in judgment of everyone involved with those sad, droopy eyes that see directly into the soul of every negligent party. This Court hereby finds that the dog is the only competent party to this transaction and should have been given power of attorney from the start. CASE DISMISSED BECAUSE REGINALD NEEDS TO GO HUG HIS OWN DOG IMMEDIATELY.